Throughout my life, it seems like our country has been arguing over what marriage is. Last week, it became even more clear to me that we as American’s do not have a solid understanding of marriage, as with all the other confusion that has developed in our postmodern age.
In an essay two weeks ago, I challenged the idea of #LGBWithoutTheTQ, on the premise that gay “marriage” is actually a trans-marriage. It was the logical conclusion of feminism’s work in destroying the truth of sex distinctions. However, even self-described conservatives pushed back, defending the normalcy of homosexuality and describing the biblical position as bigoted. This stems from the leftward compromise of mainstream conservative organizations.
Joseph Sciambra recently shared that many conservative organizations, such as Turning Point USA, have been actively defending homosexuality and “gay conservatism” since at least 2019 and likely before. Check out the video below where Charlie Kirk demeans a Christian who defends marriage, and states that he is not welcome in the conservative movement and then posts a video labeling him as an “anti-gay extremist.”
This is not unique to Kirk, as The Daily Wire platforms Spencer Klaven and The Blaze platforms Dave Rubin. People who have adopted their political philosophies from organizations like TPUSA is likely where much of this push back on the defense of marriage originates.
Yet, marriage is more than just companionship, a contract, or a partnership.
Defining Marriage
Marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman in a one flesh union that represents Christ and His church for the purposes of His glory, companionship, and child rearing.
This definition is rooted in theology but has implications in many other disciplines. Let’s examine the theological foundation of marriage first.
Theological
The first part of the definition, “Marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman in a one flesh union,” is rooted in Jesus’ teaching in the Gospel of Matthew. In Matt. 19:3-6, the Pharisees attempt to test Jesus on the question of divorce, and He responds by correcting their skewed understanding of marriage by stating in vv. 6 “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (ESV). This teaching is rooted in God’s design for marriage prior to the Fall. Which is why Jesus admonished the Pharisees, by stating that marriage has been one man and one women from the “very beginning.” He was referring back to Gen. 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
The second theological element found in the definition is that the one flesh union “represents Christ and His church for the purposes of His glory.” This is found in Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus when he writes, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Eph. 5:31-32). With Paul’s teaching we can see how marriage between a man and a woman is not simply a contract but is a visible human depiction of Christ and the church. Even unbelievers in a marriage will unconsciously represent this truth.
Marriage is also life generating. Just as God created the universe, marriage is the proper institution to bring new image bearers into the world. After God created man and women, He “blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth’” (Gen. 1:28). We see similar language to Noah and his family, after the flood God stated, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” (Gen. 9:1–7).
The last part of our definition states that marriage exists for “companionship, and child rearing.” In Genesis, prior to God creating Eve, He states it “is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (2:18). God created mankind as social creatures, especially man and woman. Both are equal in value as image bearers, but neither are the same. Life requires that each of the sexes work together in fulfilling the Dominion Mandate which can be accomplished by neither of them singularly.1
After looking at marriage theologically, we can now see how it relates to sociology, biology, and civics. Let’s briefly look at each area.
Sociologically
Marriage between a man and woman has the potential to produce children. A lifelong commitment and the balance of both sexes is the best environment for children to be raised in.2 Lifelong marriage provides intergenerational support as grandparents help their children raise their grandchildren.3 This is one of many reasons why sex outside of marriage is immoral; it can produce children without the support network needed to raise them.
Biologically
The male and female body were designed for each other. They were made to “fit” together for reproduction. In Gen. 2:18, God said that He “will make [Adam] a helper fit for him.” The Hebrew word translated into English as “fit” has the same meaning as if you were stating that two puzzle pieces fit together. Female bodies do not fit together, nor do male bodies. Only male and female bodies are designed for a life generating one flesh union.
Civics
Today, many wonder why the government is involved in marriage at all. This is a logical question to ask if your definition of marriage is simply a lifelong contract between two people. Why wouldn’t the government also regulate friendship? Or why would people want the government involved in their sex lives at all?
The government is involved in marriage because it has the potential to produce new citizens. These new citizens must be educated and cared for, which is essential to the greater community. That is why the government would encourage people to be married, stay married, and have consequences for divorce.4
Closing Thoughts
Marriage is so much more than two people who like to fornicate and share bank accounts. Marriage is the fundamental human-to-human relationship.5 Through marriage new families are created, new children are born, and when families work together new communities are formed and maintained. Marriage is the underpinning of society. If marriage is corrupted, then our communities will also become corrupt.
This is why there is no such thing as a “gay conservative” let alone a “gay Christian.” Charlie Kirk said that he thinks the Bible “is the greatest book to ever exist,” but does Mr. Kirk believe that the Bible is God’s revealed word? And if so, then doesn’t God’s word apply to all people whether they recognize Jesus or not?
Kirk also stated that he’s a “Constitutionalist,” but according to the 2016 Republican Platform, “Traditional marriage and family, based on marriage between one man and one woman, is the foundation for a free society and has for millennia been entrusted with rearing children and instilling cultural values. We condemn the Supreme Court’s ruling in United States v. Windsor, which wrongly removed the ability of Congress to define marriage policy in federal law. We also condemn the Supreme Court’s lawless ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges.”6 Does he also consider the RNC to be against the Constitution and “anti-gay extremists”?
No, what people do in the privacy of their bedrooms does matter and has consequences for the community writ large. We must work to restore God honoring marriage in our nation.
Notes
*Photo by Frederick Shaw on Unsplash
1. Michael Foster and Dominic Tennant, It’s Good to be a Man: A Handbook for Godly Masculinity (Moscow: Cannon Press, 2021), 25; 30.
2. Katy Faust, “This is a child” (presented at NatCon3, Miami, FL, September 12, 2022), https://rumble.com/v250sql-katy-faust-this-is-a-child-natcon-3-miami.html.
3. Sherif Girgis, Ryan Anderson, and Robert George, What is Marriage? Man and Woman: A Defense (New York: Encounter Books, 2012), 28-29.
4. Katy Faust, “Oppose No-Fault Divorce, Support Texas HB 3188,” Them Before Us, April 26, 2021, https://thembeforeus.com/oppose-no-fault-divorce-support-texas-hb-3188/.
5. Jerry Falwell, Listen America (New York: Doubleday, 1980), 121.
6. Republican Platform 2016, 11.
Finding Life in the Word 